“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings!” – Lao Tzu
I believe that many times in life or business you found yourself in a situation where it seemed to you that everything that presented your foundation and base for stable functioning suddenly disappeared or “lost” its stability. Then we tend to feel frustrated, desperate and helpless without any hope that we will soon receive good news about our future.
Here is one idea you can try out next time you’re in a similar situation…
Without diminishing your sense of the heaviness of such situations, it is important for you to know that what mostly causes resistance, fear, frustration and helplessness is YOUR INTERPRETATION of yourself, the situation you are in and your position in that situation.
If you pay closer attention to the thoughts you think in such moments, you will quickly notice that you do not think any thoughts at all, but YOUR THOUGHTS THOUGHT THEMSELVES. It is as if there is some artificial intelligence in your mind that is completely USURPING YOUR ATTENTION and constantly analyzing all possible scenarios and options. But, despite its analysis, you see no solution and you feel worse and more helpless. The stated phenomenon in Mindfulness theory is called REACTIVE ATTENTION or REACTIVE MODE.
If you pay closer attention to the thoughts you think in such moments, you will quickly notice that you do not think any thoughts at all, but YOUR THOUGHTS THOUGHT THEMSELVES. It is as if there is some artificial intelligence in your mind that is completely USURPING YOUR ATTENTION and constantly analyzing all possible scenarios and options. But, despite its analysis, you see no solution and you feel worse and more helpless.
The real situation is that it is at these moments that NEW and CREATIVE SOLUTIONS ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF US and are waiting to be recognized, but since our mind is in the mode of reactive attention, we are unable to identify new solutions that are not in line with our “old” logic.
Well known writer Helen Keller said that whenever one door of happiness closes, the other opens immediately, but we tend to stare at that closed door for so long that we do not recognize the door that just opened for us.
Your most important job in such moments, and before you do anything else, is (1) REMIND itself that you are not quite realistic in your assessment of the situation, that is, you see only a limited aspect of the situation, and (2) CREATE A SPACE in your mind that will allow you to identify new solutions and move on.
In order to create such a space in your mind, apart from reminding yourself that you are not quite realistic in assessing the situation, three magic words need to be said.
Do you want to hear what this is all about?
The magic words are…
“I DON’T KNOW!”
Once you make it clear to yourself (on your conscious level) that you DON’T KNOW how to go on and DON’T KNOW what needs to be done and persist in that approach long enough, in your mind NEW SPACE will be created that will not be directly influenced by those “thoughts that think themselves” and are driving you crazy and exhaust your energy and will to move on. Words I DON’T KNOW will also activate a research mode in your mind that is much more suited to identify new solutions.
The next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel as if everything that formed the basis and foundation for your stable functioning has suddenly disappeared or “lost” its stability, instead of letting yourself to the reactive mind and working hard to “solve your problem”, remind yourself that this “picture presented to you” on the canvas of your mind is not reality but a projection of your “old self.”
Then, with the intention of addressing both yourself and the Intelligence of the Universe or Light or God (whatever seems closer to you) close your eyes and say within yourself:
“I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT I’M WILLING TO RECOGNIZE THE SOLUTION!”
Repeat this “intention” every time you recognize that your mind is becoming reactive and begin to cloud your perception, and in your heart and mind be open to receiving the new because NEW will come!
Eckhart Tolle said: “Some changes look negative on the surface but soon you will realise that SPACE is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Some changes look negative on the surface but soon you will realise that SPACE is being created in your life for something new to emerge. – Eckhart Tolle
“I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT I’M WILLING TO RECOGNIZE THE SOLUTION!” – is a phrase that will keep you open to new and wonderful solutions waiting to be received in your life.
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings!” – said Lao Tzu, so it is sometimes important to stop trusting your “old” logic and be open to solution that, at first glance, may seem completely ILLOGICAL.
© Tomislav Tomić – 2020.
This article is a part of the working script for a program “TT MINDFULNESS™ – BECOME A MINDFULNESS COACH“. Click HERE for more information about the program…
