If you’ve ever tried using positive affirmations or writing down your goals and cultivating a vision in which your goals are already achieved, you’ve probably noticed that after a short time your motivation quickly wanes and nothing seems to happen. Numerous authors and personal development programs usually advise in such situations to be persistent and keep going, but in practice it’s not so easy, is it?

I often receive inquiries on this topic, and in this article I’d like to give my opinion on why this happens and why the various methods that work with positive affirmations are usually incomplete if some other important factors aren’t taken into account.

Let’s start from the beginning…

The moment we’re born, we know nothing about ourselves and we gradually begin to gain the first information about ourselves from the way others treat us. Thanks to the role of the so-called mirror neurons, we can interpret and experience the “information” we receive from our environment long before we even learn to speak.

In the early years, our brain isn’t yet able to critically review the content of the information we receive. Therefore, we unconsciously absorb a lot of information and take it for reality. In doing so, we forget that it’s basically just thoughts that we haven’t examined – thoughts are just thoughts, not facts.

In order to survive (physically, emotionally, and socially), we unconsciously seek validation and acceptance from our environment from an early age and are willing to do almost anything to get just that.

And so we unconsciously begin a “holy war” against ourselves, or rather, against socially inappropriate parts of our own authenticity. And we try in various ways to “remove” all aspects of ourselves that we see at a given moment as potential “enemies” of the image and role we want to create and show to the outside world in order to fit better into the community in question.


And so, at some point in our youth, we become a “warrior” who has managed to defeat his own authenticity, that is, we just think it!

These “defeated” parts of our authenticity haven’t really disappeared or “perished”, but have only nested deep in our subconscious, where they continue to grow and develop, constantly striving to find new effective strategies to come to the surface of our consciousness.

However, as they age, they change their personality and over time become what the Vedas call “tamastic” energy. They’re no longer lively and enthusiastic, but are dominated by despair, apathy, resentment, isolation, abandonment, rejection, helplessness, and shame.

And it’s precisely these discarded parts of our authenticity that begin to create a strong negative emotional charge in our bodies (especially after the age of 35, when our life energy begins to decline).

To protect ourselves from such a negative emotional charge, we start believing in all kinds of myths and fantasies – which in our society are usually reduced to the idea that such a dense charge will stop when we get something we want, get married, have children, get rich, pay back the loan, get healthy, get a better job, etc.

And so our goals, instead of being “tools” to help us realize our soul’s vision and become the best version of ourselves, essentially become the way we try to escape and protect ourselves from the pain and emptiness we feel inside. Instead of being inspired by our soul’s vision, they’re shaped by our ego’s illusion.

And for the very reasons mentioned above, as soon as we start using positive affirmations, writing down goals, or imagining that we have already achieved our goals, we simultaneously activate the motivation and negative emotional charge emanating from parts of our own authenticity that we have declared “unfit for society.” This is why we often give up on our goals and practicing affirmations, and very quickly find suitable excuses to “give up “legitimately.”

So positive affirmations work, writing down goals works, imagining that we’re in a reality where we have already achieved our goal works, but it’s important that we first become a person who is willing to become aware and accept ALL PARTS OF OURSELVES – not just the positive ones.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell

© Tomislav Tomic – 2021.