Tag Archives: Life lessons

What is the Purpose of Life Lessons and How To Identify Them?

Iva was a young entrepreneur who was very pleased with her “business game“ and played it very well. However, she was never able to meet her suitable partner for a more serious love relationship. She would regularly meet seemingly intelligent and interesting men, and as soon as she hoped she might have met “the one,” a series of circumstances would follow from which the opposite would happen – she would be completely disappointed in them.

Every new acquaintance with (wrong) “the one“ would increasingly close her heart and quench her hope and faith in the love life she often dreamed of, and in general of males.

With time, all of this together became too painful for her, and she would increasingly think about devoting herself fully to her job, engage in new hobbies in her life, “become more realistic“ (as her mother would often tell her) and completely give up daydreaming about the love relationship she had longed for.

***

Maybe you share a similar experience as Iva in your love aspect of life, or you know a person who has something similar going on. Or, you may recognize that pattern in your case repeating in another aspect of life. In any case, as soon as it comes to a pattern that is repeated and whose repetition in the person evokes painful and uneasy emotions, know that it is something that is commonly called a life lesson.

In my opinion, life lessons are opportunities that life offers us so that we can take a new step towards awakening our own potential that we all carry within ourselves.

In Iva’s case, her important life lesson was to learn how to open her heart and dare to be vulnerable regardless of the outcome. Instead of conditioning her happiness and openness in her heart by finding the “right“ person for a relationship – and somehow making itself dependent on that person – life gave her the opportunity to gain something much more. Life offered her the opportunity to become a person who dared to love and live with an open heart.

And, of course, to be much more mature from this position to enter the kind of relationship she had longed for and be able to vibrate with a person who is already open-hearted and dare to be vulnerable.

However, as long as Iva believes that she will open up and show her vulnerability only when she meets someone who, by her estimation, truly deserves her heart, attention and energy, she can only attract the person who looks for the same in her – in other words, she can only spin in the same vicious circle of unwanted outcomes.

As the desire for constant growth and development is woven deep into the core of our being – and on a conscious level we are not able to somehow “turn it off“ – for as long as we don’t take a step that leads us towards more conscious living and activation of the potential we already carry within ourselves, life constantly gives us a new opportunity for development and growth. In other words, the life lesson is repeated until we take the opportunity life gives us.

***

Therefore, next time you recognize that a particular life lesson has been “activated,” before you go forcibly trying to come up with new strategies that are basically an escape from painful and uneasy emotions and constantly bring you back to the same spot, set aside time on a daily basis for yourself that you will spend in solitude, consciously connect with your soul and your inner Light, and ask yourself what opportunity life is trying to give you.

Suitable affirmation/ affirmative prayer: ”I am open to receiving a new vision or idea that is trying to enter my conscious mind.“

Popular “mantra” for self-deception

I believe that many times in various situations you have heard the saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!” Many proudly pronounce it when they talk about some challenging life experiences and feel important, useful and productive because they still managed to resist the force of life that tried to destroy them.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, this has nothing to do with any real trophy, but rather a “mantra” that people successfully deceive themselves with and, unknowingly, avoid facing their weaknesses and lack of life ambition. Or, in other words, the classic story of trying to present our flaws to ourselves and others as virtues!

To illustrate more clearly what I mean, let me share with you an example from my own experience…

At the beginning of elementary school, I had an experience that created tremendous fear and resistance to the idea of going to the dentist. After that experience, whenever I felt a toothache, I would fool myself that it would stop. With time, the tooth would start to hurt harder and I would take the pain pills and believe that the thing would still calm down and that everything would be fine. This “process” would be repeated until the pills could no longer help me and I would be forced to visit a dentist. Due to the long delay, the dentist would conclude that it was necessary to remove the nerve because I delayed the repair for too long.

The above situation has happened to me several times and what is interesting is the fact that after the very traumatic process of extracting the dental nerve, I would feel brave and proud of myself for enduring it all and successfully overcome intense fear.

But, let’s ignore the weird “movie” in my head and pride in myself and be realistic. The reality is that my fictitious feelings of pride and courage served as “tools” that helped me avoid coping with my fear and the trauma I was experiencing. Looking realistically, even a small toothache indicated to me that it was necessary to visit a dentist. That’s all there was to do − and nothing else! Everything else I would do was a reflection of my “blindness” and, from my current perspective, my lack of ambition to handle things and live with full lungs.

In other words, I was not at all a hero who wasn’t “killed” by life, but a fugitive from myself!

In the book Total Coaching, author and coach Patrick Williams, beautifully expressed a thought that deeply engraved itself in my mind when I first read it:

“Life constantly sends us INFORMATION and MESSAGES. When we don’t pay attention to them, they become LESSONS. LESSONS we don’t learn become PROBLEMS. And if we avoid facing the PROBLEMS, they become CRISIS. If we do not approach CRISIS closely, they begin to create CHAOS in our lives.”

***

If at any point in life you have experienced complete “CHAOS”, however this “CHAOS” manifested in your life, instead of being proud of yourself because you are after all “straightened” and did not allow it to “kill” you, try to analyze the above by asking yourself the following question:

“What is it in me that prevented me from clearly hearing the message that life sent me on time and what am I actually running away from?”

As you ponder on this question, don’t judge yourself, but be open to truly gain insight into your own weaknesses from which you may be running away from – because only when we become aware and accept our weaknesses do we bring ourselves to the opportunity to turn them into strengths!

Only when we become aware and accept our weaknesses do we bring ourselves to the opportunity to turn them into strengths!